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OK - there you have it, who would have thought....life is full of surprises. Anyway, I broke my tooth in half bingeing on a bowl of grape nuts, chewing so vigorously the tooth just broke apart.....I'm a total dentophobe - last time I saw a dentist I ran out of his office and now this!  Mind you, I haven't had any dental work done or appointment since I was 15 and I'm 33 now.  Ehhhm...so I pull out the insurance  card and called to set up an appointment.  I guess broken tooth is an emergency cause I was able to get an appointment the next day.

Scared shitless I went it, shaking - couldn't even have a glass of wine to calm down for the fear that the doctor would smell it.  Oh well.....so I plop myself in the chair expecting the worst and a very handome, tall, well built doctor in his late 40's comes in.  Wow!  I almost became speechless, what a pleasant surprise!  To be honest, he was so charismatic and good looking I forgot about me fear of dentists and was willing to surrender to him completely.  I let me him do whatever he wanted - drilling, filling, etc. etc.

Ahhhh...........just goes to show you.............good men (dentists) are not yet extinct

Current Mood: ecstatic ecstatic

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Every year I make resolutions but they never last long.  This year, I'm very motivated to lose weight, fit into my clothes, eat better, and just have more energy in general.  2008 sucked...it was horrible, I was depressed and ashamed to see a doctor until I finally realized that this was only getting worse and none of the Omega-3, 5-HTP, St. Johns Wort stuff work.  It's all just false advertisment to make people like me, afraid to go see a shrink, buy it.  Anyway, so the first five months sucked.  I signed up for 4 classes as CSU and ended up taking only 2, getting an F and a C in Tax which I love....so much for that......

At the end of May, I went to see a school psychiatrist, well....first I had an appointment with the university psychologist to talk things out.  The psych doc put me on Wellbutrin XL 150mg and boy was that something!  All of a sudden I was charged up, full of energy, and finally assertive enough to voice my opinion.  It was great!!  But....as with all drugs....the effects started wearing off after about 4 months.  The doc increased the dose to 300mg but I just couldn't afford paying $100 for a month supply of pills.....so I gave up.  I ordered Buproprion SR 150mg online and got 300 pills very, very cheap, I only take one a day just to make sure....

Since I got the depression under control I was able to focus again and did fairly well in school, took 13 units and got 3.016 GPA overall which is not bad considering that I work full time and take care of my DH.

My DH has been unemployed since May 2008, the company he worked for as a temp wasn't hiring anymore because of the economy.  Fortunatlly, he was able to get unenmployment benefits. But.....sitting at home not doing anything is not good and he started to partake in peculiar things of which I had no idea.  He invested all our savings to some stupid hedge fund and it became worthless!!  It still is and I doubt we'll ever see it again................I would have divorced him but I love him so much we'll just have to tought it out.

Anyways, hope that 2009 will be a better year, the astrologists always say that an odd numbered year is better than even number.  I went to the grocery store today and bought Soymilk light, yoplait light yougurts, tons of Quaker high fiber oatmeal (twas on sale) and even some light cheese....it's gonna be hard though...to give up my apple muffins with peanut butter, chocolates after dinner, cookies for lunch,.,yikes....don't wanna even think about that.  There are apples and brocolli in my fridge - geeezzz.....if I can make it anyone can, just gotta stay away from the bakery section at Costco..........those muffins are always smiling on me........and I can't resist....need I say I Love peanut butter.


Current Mood: cheerful cheerful

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OK - I've got some precious materials (solution manuals) to share but never uploaded a torrent before.  Do I need to put my files to a site like rapidshare or something and then upload to Demonoid?  Or do I just upload directly from my PC? It sounds risky...like someone could potentially hack into my system and stuff....anyone knows??


Current Mood: curious curious

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Uplifiting trance
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this is slow but good
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I've been on Wellbutrin XL 150mg for 5 weeks now and can really tell the difference. I actually look forward to getting up and going jogging, and feels great!  There are times when I feel horrible though...like today, but it's all triggered by my pathetic and stressful job.  My manager is a perfectionist and she likes to find mistakes and point them out to me....she constanly monitors what I do, etc. etc. it's driving me nuts,
My last friend left the company and I feel stuck. I'm really scared that I won't be able to find another job before school starts - August.
The last offer I had didn't pay nearly enough and I turned it down even though it was a good job.........but who would in their right mind take a pay cut just to get out of misery?? I need the money....everything is more expensive, gas, rent, water bills, food.....so back to how I awful I feel right now, bad dull headache and just feeling helpless and want to get drunk, take some Soma's and forget about everything....... 

Current Mood: drained drained

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this is ATB mix
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listen to this - reall goo music
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I feel like a total loser, can't accomplish anything, having trouble sticking to my goals...I was doing so well in my weight loss, even started jogging and bought a new pair of running shoes, eliminated all bad foods and made a schedule but this enthusiasm lasted about a week. Partly because the weather was so nice that week and I thought that maybe spring arrived already....boy was I wrong............
Sadly enough I drove by World's Market and sneaked out with a load of Nutella, hazelnut spreads, ritter sport chocolates, and wafers - you can imagine the rest of the story. Anyway, I'm back to eating muffins, yesterday I had the whole key lime pie :-(  the weather is shity again...and I gained all I've lost plus a few more..............I'm broke and having trouble finding a new job - the economy is in recession and I'm starting to feel hopeless.

Current Mood: lethargic lethargic

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 Today is a better day,actaully the weekend wasn't that bad either. My manager is on vacation and I'm on my own which is wonderful. Noone looking over my shoulder and worrying about things to be done. I was looking forward to seeing my professor on Monday but we had a midterm and he sent a TA to proctor it.....I was so dissapointed. Wish he would have some interest in me as well but I guess it's just me who's interested. Oh well.........

Current Mood: excited excited

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